My Birth Story: A Christmas Baby

The holiday season will always have heightened meaning for me as a mom of an end-of-year first baby. Granted, any time of year for any mother of any baby will likely have heightened meaning. Still, the season of anticipation, joy, and reception of a gift holds new meaning for me as soon as we heard the due date of 12/25. Christmas music and the twinkle of tree lights in the dark of midnight grace my memory as I sat up nursing in a daze that first month.

We opted to stay home for Thanksgiving instead of driving across state to our traditional family meal. Aside from the discomfort of traveling long distance, I’m most happy to have skipped out because of the quiet, lazy Thanksgiving we had together as a family of two. December ushered in what I termed the “Christmas waddle” and we also experienced due day, Christmas day, as a family of two.

I’d been a patient lady up until that point. I’m not one to fall for gimmicks, but I never ate so much spicy food or went for such long drives on bumpy roads, among other things. At 41 weeks my blood pressure continued to cause concern. In addition to the protein found in my urine at my checkup, this was enough to be admitted for observation.

I had the birth plan, the anticipation of natural childbirth. Several hours later, in lengthy consultation with my doctor, we heard that the small but present protein, continued high blood pressure, and my full term status all made her comfortable with induction. I’d read thoroughly about induction and preeclampsia. When she returned once more, we made the decision for induction while I was eating dinner. She quickly encouraged me to limit my intake of food, to which I gingerly popped a few more grapes into my mouth with a smirk.

My husband went home to get some sleep, as we weren’t going to start Pitocin until 6 am. Just before midnight they applied cervidil to encourage the softening of my cervix. Almost immediately, and for the next six hours, I had intense muscle cramping in my abdomen, hips, and thighs. Contractions caused some of this pain, but the intense throbbing of my hips and thighs proved by far more excruciating and distracting than anything I anticipated. I have some sense and ability to tolerate pain. I’ve practiced yoga for years and trained for a marathon—I know a thing or two about breathing, pain, and endurance. Six hours into those “labor” pains, I asked for an epidural. Due to extenuating circumstances, it did not come for another two hours. Ouch.

I put quotation marks around labor because I never reached active labor throughout the entire 19-hour process that ended in our baby’s birth. With the epidural I found some relief and rest. My epidural caused continued frustration as one side of my body regained sensation. What an odd feeling to have no feeling on one side of your body and only slightly-numb pain on the other side. It was uncomfortable but manageable.

Throughout the day we were playing the waiting game. As the baby had not dropped at all, my cervix barely responded to any of the induction, and my blood pressure remained cautiously high, so at 12 hours my doctor introduced the idea of a C-section. She offered the option gently and without force. I appreciated her offer but wanted to wait it out. About 15 hours in, the anesthesiologist adjusted my epidural and the doctor again checked in. My temperature was rising just a bit, and I was otherwise still the same. I opted to continue forward and wait to see if my body would respond. She obliged and offered support.

Three hours later I developed a fever and fetal movements remained present but slowing. I knew it was time to lean into immediate action. We swiftly moved into the operating room where nurses—a flurry of nurses—draped and prepared me for surgery. Within minutes, just shy of 19 hours after the first labor pain, our baby boy was born. I was able to share a few moments with him but, due to the fever, they scurried him off to the NICU. My husband stayed with him along the way. Though he remained in the NICU for the first day for antibiotics, he was able to come to my room for milk and cuddles numerous times.

The C-section, on the one hand, was not ideal in that I wanted a natural childbirth. Later, I wondered if my choice to induce sealed the fate of a C-section. I don’t know, but given my preeclampsia, I’m willing to say my C-section was ideal and possibly inevitable—possibly a life saver. I made thoughtful, informed decisions along the way for my medical care. I birthed a beautiful baby with the aid of a support system around me that I trusted. That is what matters.

Happy New Year to us, indeed.

Lyn, mommy of two and counting…

***Originally posted to BreastfeedBabywearClothdiaper. Reposted with permission.

Many Moms May Have Been Taught to Breastfeed Incorrectly: Surprising New Research

By making the most of what baby brings to the table, Natural Breastfeeding allows you to use the behaviors built in by Mother Nature to help you successfully feed and nurture your newborn.

This article from Nancy Mohrbacher, IBCLC, FILCA was featured in Holistic Parenting magazine, Issue 9 (May/June 2015).  Nancy is a wealth of knowledge and a light to many breastfeeding mothers!

During the more than 30 years I’ve been helping breastfeeding families, it’s been thrilling to see the rise in U.S. breastfeeding rates. In the early 1980s, only about 50% of American women breastfed even once. Now nearly 80% of new mothers breastfeed.

But this picture is still far from rosy. The sad truth is that most women today are not meeting their breastfeeding goals. Three recent studies shed some light on the issues. Here’s what they found:

More than two thirds of women intending to breastfeed exclusively for three months didn’t get there.

The most common reasons women give up on breastfeeding are:

• latching problems
• worries about milk production
• nipple pain

During the first week after birth, 92% of nursing mothers reported significant breastfeeding challenges.

Sadly, most mothers who struggle with breastfeeding think the only solution is to try harder, but that’s frustrating and exhausting. Wouldn’t it be better instead to make breastfeeding easier? Rather than tackling every issue—latching struggles, milk supply, sore nipples–individually, why not use a single approach that addresses many challenges at once?

That is what a new approach called Natural Breastfeeding can do.

What is Natural Breastfeeding?

Let me back up a little and explain how this new approach came to be. By chance in 2008 I came across a U.K. study that rocked my world. It found that the breastfeeding positions we had been teaching new mothers for decades could actually be contributing to the ongoing epidemic of early problems. What did this study find? Human newborns’ innate responses are similar to those of other mammal species–including puppies, kittens, and piglets–that feed on their tummies. In other words, our babies are hardwired to be “tummy feeders.”

When I read that paper by Dr. Suzanne Colson (who calls her approach Biological Nurturing® or “laid-back breastfeeding”), my mind went first to the babies I’d seen in the breast crawl videos often shown in childbirth classes. The first breast crawl videos appeared in the late 1980s, when Swedish researchers found that when a newborn is laid tummy down on mother’s body, within the first hour something magical happens. Without any help, a healthy baby will crawl up the mother’s body, find the nipple, latch on, and begin breastfeeding. You can see this in action by doing an online search for “breast crawl.”

What Baby Brings to the Table

Not long ago, scientists believed that most newborn reflexes were useless leftovers from our tree-dwelling ancestors. But now we know better. We know these reflexes are key to early breastfeeding.

Every brand-new baby comes into the world with a whole repertoire of responses that are custom designed by Mother Nature to make baby an active breastfeeding partner. Baby is born with what’s needed so that–when conditions are right–breastfeeding and bonding happen easily and naturally. These responses work best when baby lies tummy down on mother with gravity anchoring baby there. I’d seen the breast crawl videos for years but somehow never made the mental connection between the babies’ tummy-down position and the ease with which they took the breast.

Rest of Article

by Sara Sites on July 9, 2015 on Mothering.com

Walking With Intention Day 18

“Our intention creates our reality.”

– Wayne Dyer

The concept of “intention” has never held very much meaning for me beyond a few experiences with Catholic volunteers. It was a nice, though abstract, concept. Living intentionally never became so important to me until I had a baby.

In my mind, walking with intention means a few different things. On one hand, it means being present to the current moment. On the other hand, it means being conscientious and deliberate about my attitude, my actions and my words, because those three things influence my reality and my future.

Being Present

This is my first child and I’m daily fumbling with getting it right. Since her birth, it has been very important to me to be present in a way I never was before, when I would daydream my way through a never-ending afternoon and seek to rush an uncomfortable moment.

Now, I’m trying to be catalogue every precious little moment, like her determined face and middle-of-the-night sighs or the small moments in a quiet house that she’s playing independently. I’m (trying to!) not wishing away the long nights of overtired screaming because I know the day will come that I will wish problems could be solved with mere rocking, kisses, and a round of “Baby Mine.” I’m trying to make note of every time we nurse or she presses her cheek to mine, because one of those times will be the last time, and I love them. I love every day with her, even the minutes that suck. I am crazy in love with her right now, and she adores me. I am the best thing ever. I make her laugh and I calm her, and I know I won’t always.

Being Conscious and Deliberate

I didn’t grow up around children, and before I had her, I honestly just thought they were little jerks. I couldn’t imagine how parents could put up with their attitude. (At the time, I also couldn’t imagine loving something the way I love her, but now I get it.)  During my pregnancy and ever since she was born, I have been anxious about the “terrible twos,” having a “threenager,” and every day she grows, I hate that she’s getting closer to that time. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it and I’m afraid I’m going to hate her, the being with half my heart.

I don’t like this. I don’t want to think of her as a “terror,” and I don’t want to be her adversary. I know that, as her mother, it is going to be my job to set boundaries she won’t like and she will see me as her enemy sometimes, but I don’t want to see her as the enemy.

She is not the enemy.

My anxiety of that time is lessened and I think (hope) my ability to respond from a place of love will increase when I am intentional in my thoughts about her. I believe the way I think and talk about her will make a big difference in how I perceive her.  Even when my Wee One is acting stubborn, disobedient, or rude, if I say those things are who she is, I will believe them. If i can be intentional in my thoughts about her and consider her as a whole person, I will see things differently and be able to respond to her differently. When she pushes against me, or when she’s rude or disrespectful, it is because she is learning the rules of social interaction and experimenting with different behaviors. Or it is because I am expecting something of her that she is not developmentally able to do. Moreover, she’s acting out with me because she knows she’s safe with me.

In my practice as a drug and alcohol counselor, I read and found to be true that the strongest tool I had when working with a client was my relationship with them. I also noticed that the clients who did best were those who had a strong relationship with me.  (In this context, by “best,” I do not mean the ones who stayed sober and got housed. I mean the ones who stayed connected with our program and kept trying.) They knew they could come to me drunk, or call me from prison, or send me to talk to their P.O. and lawyers, and I still respected and believed in their ability to change.

I remember this and also think about my relationship with my own mother, with whom I have always been safe. I think the quality of relationship with my daughter is going to be the most important thing I have in my ability to help her grow. To do this, I need to stay aware of the bigger picture and act with intention to keep our relationship sacred.

Sarah Myers

I am a St. Louis native and social worker who spent 10 years working with homeless addicts in North city. In about the course of a year I got married, had a child, left my job and moved to the Seattle area – made about every big change one can make.  Now I’m a stay at home mom and loving every day of it, but I’m also trying to rebuild my life around these big changes.

https://theseekersdungeon.com/2015/11/18/walking-with-intention-day-18-by-sarah-myers/

***Reposted with permission via http://creosomnium.org/

Do We Need a Daily Routine?

During my baby’s first year, one of the most common topics of conversation was about how she was sleeping.  Friends/family/moms in mom groups/strangers in the grocery line all seemed really interested in how she was sleeping.  Once we had established a daily routine, my response was much more positive to the dreaded sleep question. Routinesare needed because they let your baby what to expect next, according to Babycenter.  When babies can anticipate what happens next, it provides comfort to them and helps them sleep better. Experts say that routines can be established as early as 2 months or as old as 6 months old, depending on your (and your baby’s) personality.

My first daughter was a snacker. She liked to nurse for short amounts of time every hour or two all day, every day up until she was about six months old. At about 6 months, we started to establish a routine with her, encouraging her to eat more during the day and sleep for longer stretches at night. My younger daughter was content to nurse for long amounts of time, less frequently. We worked out our routine around 4 months. Establishing a routine earlier with my second daughter also benefited my first because we returned to many of our activities that we did before the baby was born.

There is a wide range of philosophies about establishing routines, ranging from the parents setting the routines to basing the daily routine on the baby’s natural schedule and everything in between. For me, and my children, building a routine around their natural schedules worked best.  However, I am a stay-at-home mom, so I have flexibility with our days.

I found that using time intervals–instead of basing the routine off the clock–created a routine that was flexible but still offered my babies the comfort about what was coming up next.  Juniper was the most happy with about 3-3.5 hoursbetween waking and going back to sleep.  When she was about 6 months old, Juniper’s routine would begin with her waking up for the day.  I would feed her breakfast, play with her and do tummy time while her big sister was eating breakfast, get the three of us dressed, then about 2.5 hours after she initially woke up, I would nurse her for about a half an hour to forty-five minutes until she fell asleep for nap.  During her naptime, Lily and I would do one of her classes or another activity (like going for a walk or to the playground).  I would let Juniper sleep as long as she wanted, and then we would start the routine over (meal of solids, play/activity, nurse, nap) again, this would fit into about 3/3.5 hours.  At this point, Juniper was taking two naps a day and going to bed around 6/6:30 at night.  Because we were not tied to the clock, if Juniper wanted to nurse an extra time or take an extra nap, our entire day was not thrown off.

Setting a routine doesn’t have to be a struggle to have your baby follow a schedule based on the clock.  Setting a routine based on a pattern during a rough time interval offers your baby predictability and meets her needs based on her natural schedule with the flexibility that she needs day to day.

Becky Nagel is a stay at home mom to two girls, a three year old and a one year old, in Denver, CO who enjoys cooking for her family, running, and hiking.

***This article originally appeared under blogger BreastfeedBabywearClothdiaper at http://www.breastfeedbabywearclothdiaper.com/need-daily-routine?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BreastfeedBabywearClothDiaperNaturally+%28Breastfeed.Babywear.ClothDiaper.Naturally%21%29. Reposted with permission.

My Two Births....

by Ellie Tricker

My two births happened three years and two months apart. My first child was a slow-moving son, and my second child was a daughter who seemed to be in an enormous hurry. The details of my birth experiences differ wildly.

         Thaddeus was born slowly, quietly, and privately. Ben and I labored all night long, moaning and dancing our way through the bedroom, great room, and bathroom. My memory is of being mothered through the process by Rachel, who comforted and consoled me at regular intervals. I remember the feeling of her hands on my neck as I dozed exhaustedly in the rocking chair in the pre-dawn hours. I remember her spoon feeding me honey. She put her hands on my hips, teaching me how to sway from side to side, as gracefully as a walrus (or so I felt) as I hung my arms heavily around Ben's neck. Hours after we arrived to bring forth our first child, another mother arrived. When the sounds of her baby carried through the wall long before I had even dilated completely, I began to despair, but Rachel consoled me with such love and tenderness that I was able to relax and refocus. I am the sort of woman who tends to be in charge of everything and be totally equipped. Therefore, it was alarming to be at the mercy of my body. I felt like I was failing somehow, and Rachel imparted the necessary grace that I needed to accept the birth journey I was on. She gave me exactly what I needed.

        Penelope, in contrast, has had an urgency about her since the moment she felt ready to emerge from the womb! Although I was in early labor for an entire week with her, once she got serious, nothing could stop her. We settled in for another long labor, but only three hours after arriving at the Birth Center, Penelope was in my arms. And while Ben and I had relished our quiet privacy the first time, this felt more like a birth(day) party. Two of my friends met us there to help care for Tad (who came with us) and to help document the event. We had a fruit tray and told funny stories. Ironically, even with the noise and celebratory atmosphere, I was able to focus more  this second time around. I finally understood what it meant to ride the wave of each contraction and to go deeper into my body. I accomplished my goal of not actually pushing my daughter out at all, instead letting the contractions do the work. Even so, the amount of time between crowning and having Penny on my chest was only three minutes. Before I got into the tub for the final bit of labor, I stood over the toilet and suddenly felt chilled to the bone. I had been really present for the whole labor, but suddenly I felt a wave of panic. I began to shiver uncontrollably and Nancy (who had arrived an hour before) put her hands on my shoulders and told me I was probably in transition. I hadn't really felt transition with Tad's birth because the whole labor was so intense and painful that there was no discernible difference. This was wild and somewhat terrifying! But when I felt Nancy's hands on my shoulders, I felt a cooling sensation pass down through my whole body. My eyes locked on hers and I remembered that I could do this! Somehow I found myself back in the tub and, though I wanted to birth on my hands and knees as I did before, I was instructed to lie down on my back to slow baby down. This was so contrary to my ideas, but it turned out to be quite helpful! Penny practically flew out, and just like in those magical stories, once she was on my belly she slithered up to my breast of her own accord and latched immediately. I think I tried to force Tad to nurse for several minutes before I relaxed and gave up pressuring him. He finally nursed in the bed an hour or so after he was born.

        My births were so similar in some ways. I was in the same room, both provided peaceful, joyful memories. Patty was the midwife who met us at the Birth Center both times, leaving us with the midwife on the next shift. Both times I received the special type of coaching I needed, though the particulars of how each birth played out were so different. The model of trusting women and their bodies works so beautifully, because with varying circumstances, the outcome ends up being the same. My joy was complete for both of my births, and I felt supported, loved, and trusted.

        I feel so immensely grateful for the Birth Center, and particularly for Rachel, who gave me the birth I dreamed of. I transferred to Fairhaven quite late in my first pregnancy solely because Rachel was willing to spend quite a long time with me both on the phone and in person to determine whether we could work together for only a few short weeks. Because of my births, I began to trust my power, my stamina, and indeed my true femininity in a way I could never have anticipated. My births have taught me more about my deepest strength more than any other experience I've ever had, and have opened me in a special way to conscious, peaceful parenting. I really believe that peace on earth can begin with birth. My safe, conscious, peaceful births helped me realize that my children were active participants in their earth-side emergence. Beginning my parenting journey in this way has helped launch me on a trajectory of respect, awareness, and reverence for the full human beings my children are. Indeed, my births have helped me respect myself more fully and to appreciate the ways my husband and partner contributes to our lives as well. Giving birth at Goshen Birth Center under the supervision and care of knowledgeable, compassionate midwives has changed my life for the better in a real and meaningful way.