6 Easy Ways to be a Great Guest When Visiting a New Mom

So a friend has just had a baby and you’ve been invited over for your first visit. Yay, a sweet, squishy newborn to love on! Who doesn’t love that feeling of a tiny baby falling asleep in your arms? My own daughter is 2.5 years old now and often running away, rather than towards my arms so believe me that when I get the chance, I want to HOLD ALL THE BABIES! But the truth is that a new mom doesn’t really need you to hold the baby. Not all the time, at least. There is so much more that you can do that will make you the best visitor that new mom has had yet.

1. Bring food. A meal, a side dish, a gift card for local delivery – pretty much any of these items would be welcomed warmly by a new mom. Cooking is often the last thing on the list when baby is brand new. Freezer meals, soups, even fresh produce are all fantastic ways to help support a new family.
2. Ask after the mom, not just baby. So much cooing tends to happen over baby that a new mom can feel like she’s standing in the shadows. That lady just gave birth! Give her a high five and ask her, honestly, how she’s doing. Let her talk. She’ll probably just talk about the baby, but at least you gave her the opening to do so.
3. Help around the house. Every ounce of mom’s focus in those first few weeks, especially for a first time mom, is on baby and surviving the life altering changes that come with a newborn. Household chores can pile up and cause a lot of stress. Doing something as simple as unloading the dishwasher or tossing in a load of laundry can mean the world. Don’t offer, just do. If you ask, she’ll tell you not to bother. She’s being polite, but secretly she’d love you to wash a few dishes.
4. Let her shower. If you know her well, offer to watch the baby so that she can have a few blessed moments alone in the shower. New mom truth: days go by before you realize you haven’t showered. Giving her the chance to do so is both great for her and a sneaky way to hog all of that delicious newborn baby smell.
5. Limit your visit. Aim for a 30 minute visit the first time around. Mom’s bound to be tired, baby may or may not need to eat/sleep/poop (or all of the above!), and there have probably been many other visitors coming around to see the new arrival. As a new mom struggling to breastfeed, I hated the awkward moment when I had to slip away into the nursery while guests remained just on the other side of the wall in my living room. Keeping your visit short and sweet, at least at first, is a great way to keep mom relaxed.
6. Don’t show up unannounced. Just don’t do it. It’s rude at any time, whether dropping in on a new mom, your best friend, or your parents. Plus, frankly, a new nursing mom is likely to be mostly, if not entirely, undressed from the waist up. You’ve been warned.

There you have it! Easy steps that will make you the best guest a new mom sees. I promise, you’ll still get baby snuggles and you’ll probably be invited back sooner than anyone else!

What would be your tips, looking back, on ways to be a good guest to a new mom?



Kate is a mainly stay-at-home mom in the Pacific NW who seriously wants to Hold ALL the Babies! 

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