Finding Support in Moms Groups

In today’s culture, having a baby can become an isolating factor for many mothers. Oftentimes, we are far from our family or used to being able to go our own ways. Motherhood changes your perspectives and your priorities. It resets your schedule and dominates your day-to-day calendar.

Finding others in similar situations can really relieve stress and restore your sanity! It can be hard to make new friends that are in the same life stage you are, especially if you don’t have anyone already in it.

Our society has a great many ways to help us find a new tribe and begin to forge new bonds of friendship. Meetup.com was the first place I began to look when I found myself with a new little one and no close friends nearby with little ones themselves. I tried a few different groups before I found one I clicked with.

It took courage to go to a few meetings, not knowing anyone and not being super outgoing and willing to insert myself into conversations. But babies are great ice breakers. After a few times, my son gravitated to a few of the same kids and I found myself being easily drawn into those mothers’ conversations.

Facebook has a plethora of groups these days, and many times can be a great place to find other mothers that have similar interests and build your new community. Whether it’s an interest like fitness or a geographical location, pick a few that appeal to you and try them out. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!

La Leche League or local library story times are other great places to begin to branch out and meeting new mamas and their little ones. These are free and often can be found in the evenings and weekends so working families can get in on the fun, too.

Building your community takes time and effort. Stick with it and keep going when you find a group you love. Let your little one help you break the ice with new friends and, in your turn, welcome those new mamas when you see them. Each of us needs each other.

TaiLeah Madill is mama to three and lives in Phoenix, Arizona. She is passionate about volunteering with her local babywearing group and helping other families enjoy the benefits of wearing their little ones. 

***Originally posted via BreastfeedBabywearClothDiaper.Naturally  Reposted with permission.

My Birth Story: A Christmas Baby

The holiday season will always have heightened meaning for me as a mom of an end-of-year first baby. Granted, any time of year for any mother of any baby will likely have heightened meaning. Still, the season of anticipation, joy, and reception of a gift holds new meaning for me as soon as we heard the due date of 12/25. Christmas music and the twinkle of tree lights in the dark of midnight grace my memory as I sat up nursing in a daze that first month.

We opted to stay home for Thanksgiving instead of driving across state to our traditional family meal. Aside from the discomfort of traveling long distance, I’m most happy to have skipped out because of the quiet, lazy Thanksgiving we had together as a family of two. December ushered in what I termed the “Christmas waddle” and we also experienced due day, Christmas day, as a family of two.

I’d been a patient lady up until that point. I’m not one to fall for gimmicks, but I never ate so much spicy food or went for such long drives on bumpy roads, among other things. At 41 weeks my blood pressure continued to cause concern. In addition to the protein found in my urine at my checkup, this was enough to be admitted for observation.

I had the birth plan, the anticipation of natural childbirth. Several hours later, in lengthy consultation with my doctor, we heard that the small but present protein, continued high blood pressure, and my full term status all made her comfortable with induction. I’d read thoroughly about induction and preeclampsia. When she returned once more, we made the decision for induction while I was eating dinner. She quickly encouraged me to limit my intake of food, to which I gingerly popped a few more grapes into my mouth with a smirk.

My husband went home to get some sleep, as we weren’t going to start Pitocin until 6 am. Just before midnight they applied cervidil to encourage the softening of my cervix. Almost immediately, and for the next six hours, I had intense muscle cramping in my abdomen, hips, and thighs. Contractions caused some of this pain, but the intense throbbing of my hips and thighs proved by far more excruciating and distracting than anything I anticipated. I have some sense and ability to tolerate pain. I’ve practiced yoga for years and trained for a marathon—I know a thing or two about breathing, pain, and endurance. Six hours into those “labor” pains, I asked for an epidural. Due to extenuating circumstances, it did not come for another two hours. Ouch.

I put quotation marks around labor because I never reached active labor throughout the entire 19-hour process that ended in our baby’s birth. With the epidural I found some relief and rest. My epidural caused continued frustration as one side of my body regained sensation. What an odd feeling to have no feeling on one side of your body and only slightly-numb pain on the other side. It was uncomfortable but manageable.

Throughout the day we were playing the waiting game. As the baby had not dropped at all, my cervix barely responded to any of the induction, and my blood pressure remained cautiously high, so at 12 hours my doctor introduced the idea of a C-section. She offered the option gently and without force. I appreciated her offer but wanted to wait it out. About 15 hours in, the anesthesiologist adjusted my epidural and the doctor again checked in. My temperature was rising just a bit, and I was otherwise still the same. I opted to continue forward and wait to see if my body would respond. She obliged and offered support.

Three hours later I developed a fever and fetal movements remained present but slowing. I knew it was time to lean into immediate action. We swiftly moved into the operating room where nurses—a flurry of nurses—draped and prepared me for surgery. Within minutes, just shy of 19 hours after the first labor pain, our baby boy was born. I was able to share a few moments with him but, due to the fever, they scurried him off to the NICU. My husband stayed with him along the way. Though he remained in the NICU for the first day for antibiotics, he was able to come to my room for milk and cuddles numerous times.

The C-section, on the one hand, was not ideal in that I wanted a natural childbirth. Later, I wondered if my choice to induce sealed the fate of a C-section. I don’t know, but given my preeclampsia, I’m willing to say my C-section was ideal and possibly inevitable—possibly a life saver. I made thoughtful, informed decisions along the way for my medical care. I birthed a beautiful baby with the aid of a support system around me that I trusted. That is what matters.

Happy New Year to us, indeed.

Lyn, mommy of two and counting…

***Originally posted to BreastfeedBabywearClothdiaper. Reposted with permission.

Walking With Intention Day 18

“Our intention creates our reality.”

– Wayne Dyer

The concept of “intention” has never held very much meaning for me beyond a few experiences with Catholic volunteers. It was a nice, though abstract, concept. Living intentionally never became so important to me until I had a baby.

In my mind, walking with intention means a few different things. On one hand, it means being present to the current moment. On the other hand, it means being conscientious and deliberate about my attitude, my actions and my words, because those three things influence my reality and my future.

Being Present

This is my first child and I’m daily fumbling with getting it right. Since her birth, it has been very important to me to be present in a way I never was before, when I would daydream my way through a never-ending afternoon and seek to rush an uncomfortable moment.

Now, I’m trying to be catalogue every precious little moment, like her determined face and middle-of-the-night sighs or the small moments in a quiet house that she’s playing independently. I’m (trying to!) not wishing away the long nights of overtired screaming because I know the day will come that I will wish problems could be solved with mere rocking, kisses, and a round of “Baby Mine.” I’m trying to make note of every time we nurse or she presses her cheek to mine, because one of those times will be the last time, and I love them. I love every day with her, even the minutes that suck. I am crazy in love with her right now, and she adores me. I am the best thing ever. I make her laugh and I calm her, and I know I won’t always.

Being Conscious and Deliberate

I didn’t grow up around children, and before I had her, I honestly just thought they were little jerks. I couldn’t imagine how parents could put up with their attitude. (At the time, I also couldn’t imagine loving something the way I love her, but now I get it.)  During my pregnancy and ever since she was born, I have been anxious about the “terrible twos,” having a “threenager,” and every day she grows, I hate that she’s getting closer to that time. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it and I’m afraid I’m going to hate her, the being with half my heart.

I don’t like this. I don’t want to think of her as a “terror,” and I don’t want to be her adversary. I know that, as her mother, it is going to be my job to set boundaries she won’t like and she will see me as her enemy sometimes, but I don’t want to see her as the enemy.

She is not the enemy.

My anxiety of that time is lessened and I think (hope) my ability to respond from a place of love will increase when I am intentional in my thoughts about her. I believe the way I think and talk about her will make a big difference in how I perceive her.  Even when my Wee One is acting stubborn, disobedient, or rude, if I say those things are who she is, I will believe them. If i can be intentional in my thoughts about her and consider her as a whole person, I will see things differently and be able to respond to her differently. When she pushes against me, or when she’s rude or disrespectful, it is because she is learning the rules of social interaction and experimenting with different behaviors. Or it is because I am expecting something of her that she is not developmentally able to do. Moreover, she’s acting out with me because she knows she’s safe with me.

In my practice as a drug and alcohol counselor, I read and found to be true that the strongest tool I had when working with a client was my relationship with them. I also noticed that the clients who did best were those who had a strong relationship with me.  (In this context, by “best,” I do not mean the ones who stayed sober and got housed. I mean the ones who stayed connected with our program and kept trying.) They knew they could come to me drunk, or call me from prison, or send me to talk to their P.O. and lawyers, and I still respected and believed in their ability to change.

I remember this and also think about my relationship with my own mother, with whom I have always been safe. I think the quality of relationship with my daughter is going to be the most important thing I have in my ability to help her grow. To do this, I need to stay aware of the bigger picture and act with intention to keep our relationship sacred.

Sarah Myers

I am a St. Louis native and social worker who spent 10 years working with homeless addicts in North city. In about the course of a year I got married, had a child, left my job and moved to the Seattle area – made about every big change one can make.  Now I’m a stay at home mom and loving every day of it, but I’m also trying to rebuild my life around these big changes.

https://theseekersdungeon.com/2015/11/18/walking-with-intention-day-18-by-sarah-myers/

***Reposted with permission via http://creosomnium.org/

Do We Need a Daily Routine?

During my baby’s first year, one of the most common topics of conversation was about how she was sleeping.  Friends/family/moms in mom groups/strangers in the grocery line all seemed really interested in how she was sleeping.  Once we had established a daily routine, my response was much more positive to the dreaded sleep question. Routinesare needed because they let your baby what to expect next, according to Babycenter.  When babies can anticipate what happens next, it provides comfort to them and helps them sleep better. Experts say that routines can be established as early as 2 months or as old as 6 months old, depending on your (and your baby’s) personality.

My first daughter was a snacker. She liked to nurse for short amounts of time every hour or two all day, every day up until she was about six months old. At about 6 months, we started to establish a routine with her, encouraging her to eat more during the day and sleep for longer stretches at night. My younger daughter was content to nurse for long amounts of time, less frequently. We worked out our routine around 4 months. Establishing a routine earlier with my second daughter also benefited my first because we returned to many of our activities that we did before the baby was born.

There is a wide range of philosophies about establishing routines, ranging from the parents setting the routines to basing the daily routine on the baby’s natural schedule and everything in between. For me, and my children, building a routine around their natural schedules worked best.  However, I am a stay-at-home mom, so I have flexibility with our days.

I found that using time intervals–instead of basing the routine off the clock–created a routine that was flexible but still offered my babies the comfort about what was coming up next.  Juniper was the most happy with about 3-3.5 hoursbetween waking and going back to sleep.  When she was about 6 months old, Juniper’s routine would begin with her waking up for the day.  I would feed her breakfast, play with her and do tummy time while her big sister was eating breakfast, get the three of us dressed, then about 2.5 hours after she initially woke up, I would nurse her for about a half an hour to forty-five minutes until she fell asleep for nap.  During her naptime, Lily and I would do one of her classes or another activity (like going for a walk or to the playground).  I would let Juniper sleep as long as she wanted, and then we would start the routine over (meal of solids, play/activity, nurse, nap) again, this would fit into about 3/3.5 hours.  At this point, Juniper was taking two naps a day and going to bed around 6/6:30 at night.  Because we were not tied to the clock, if Juniper wanted to nurse an extra time or take an extra nap, our entire day was not thrown off.

Setting a routine doesn’t have to be a struggle to have your baby follow a schedule based on the clock.  Setting a routine based on a pattern during a rough time interval offers your baby predictability and meets her needs based on her natural schedule with the flexibility that she needs day to day.

Becky Nagel is a stay at home mom to two girls, a three year old and a one year old, in Denver, CO who enjoys cooking for her family, running, and hiking.

***This article originally appeared under blogger BreastfeedBabywearClothdiaper at http://www.breastfeedbabywearclothdiaper.com/need-daily-routine?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BreastfeedBabywearClothDiaperNaturally+%28Breastfeed.Babywear.ClothDiaper.Naturally%21%29. Reposted with permission.

How To Write A Birth Plan

After giving birth to my second child, I was quite the talk of the maternity ward. It wasn’t because I arrived at the hospital 9.5 cm dilated or that labor progressed so quickly that my midwife barely made it in time (both of which are true). It was because of my birth plan. Before my first child was born, I developed a birth plan that I used for both deliveries. It wasn’t anything too unusual or bizarre, at least not in my opinion. It included things like I wanted the option to eat during labor, keep my contact lenses in, have access to a birthing tub, have my partner by my side at all times, be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits, and do it all without the aid of drugs and other interventions.

So why was my plan the talk of the ward? Because according to the nursing student who spoke at length to me about it, she had never seen one before. She was so amazed by the whole idea that other classmates joined her in my room to discuss how I developed it and what had gone into the process. In that moment, I realized how important the plan was to me, not because I felt it was directions for the hospital to follow, but because it helped me understand what my goal was and kept me focused on achieving it. How did I develop the plan?

• Research. I did a lot of research beginning the moment I found out I was pregnant. I read books like “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth” by Henci Goer, attended birthing classes and listened to moms tell about their experiences. Gathering all that information helped me better understand the birth process and my personal preferences.
• Write. With a general framework of preferences in mind, I went online to the Baby Center’s website and used a program to create my personalized plan. I simply clicked a few boxes, typed in a few descriptions and printed out my own plan.
• Discuss. I didn’t wait for the labor pains to begin and then surprise the hospital staff with my hopes and desires. I presented my plan to my midwife during a prenatal visit. She looked it over and we discussed it. She let me know if anything was unusual or against hospital protocol so we could have that discussion up front and before the heat of labor. The talk helped me to further confirm that she was the correct care provider for me. I also made sure my birth advocate, my husband, was informed and that he could speak for me if need be.

By the time I entered the hospital, I knew what was realistic and what was not. I gave the labor and delivery nurse a copy and was comforted by the fact that my husband and midwife were by my side with the knowledge of my preferences already in mind.

Because I did the work up front to understand labor and my own personal philosophy, I knew what my preferences were. During the throes of labor, that knowledge kept me focused and moving forward, and made me feel as though my midwife and medical staff were working alongside of me as a team. The births of my two little ones were something I was involved in and not medical conditions that were happening to me. As a result, I had two good birth experiences and two healthy babies.

Did my births go 100 percent according to plan? Not exactly. But the point of developing the plan wasn’t to create a step-by-step outline of what labor and delivery would be like. Each birth is different and we can’t totally prepare for each twist and turn of the journey ahead. But what my plan did was put me and those around me in the right mindset so if a twist did occur, we had an idea of how to handle it. It empowered me to make well-informed decisions concerning both my baby and me.

As the nursing students continued to ask questions, I wondered how women could do labor without a plan or at least some amount of forethought. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be as formalized as the one I created, but to do the research and have the discussions up front with your care provider will certainly help prepare you for the journey to childbirth. Keep in mind that even the best-laid plan can be sidetracked. But knowing your preferences ahead of time will help keep you more focused when the pain sets in or a twist or turn comes along.


What about you? Did you create a birth plan? If so, did you find it helpful?

The post How To Write A Birth Plan first appeared on Unexpectant.com 

6 Easy Ways to be a Great Guest When Visiting a New Mom

So a friend has just had a baby and you’ve been invited over for your first visit. Yay, a sweet, squishy newborn to love on! Who doesn’t love that feeling of a tiny baby falling asleep in your arms? My own daughter is 2.5 years old now and often running away, rather than towards my arms so believe me that when I get the chance, I want to HOLD ALL THE BABIES! But the truth is that a new mom doesn’t really need you to hold the baby. Not all the time, at least. There is so much more that you can do that will make you the best visitor that new mom has had yet.

1. Bring food. A meal, a side dish, a gift card for local delivery – pretty much any of these items would be welcomed warmly by a new mom. Cooking is often the last thing on the list when baby is brand new. Freezer meals, soups, even fresh produce are all fantastic ways to help support a new family.
2. Ask after the mom, not just baby. So much cooing tends to happen over baby that a new mom can feel like she’s standing in the shadows. That lady just gave birth! Give her a high five and ask her, honestly, how she’s doing. Let her talk. She’ll probably just talk about the baby, but at least you gave her the opening to do so.
3. Help around the house. Every ounce of mom’s focus in those first few weeks, especially for a first time mom, is on baby and surviving the life altering changes that come with a newborn. Household chores can pile up and cause a lot of stress. Doing something as simple as unloading the dishwasher or tossing in a load of laundry can mean the world. Don’t offer, just do. If you ask, she’ll tell you not to bother. She’s being polite, but secretly she’d love you to wash a few dishes.
4. Let her shower. If you know her well, offer to watch the baby so that she can have a few blessed moments alone in the shower. New mom truth: days go by before you realize you haven’t showered. Giving her the chance to do so is both great for her and a sneaky way to hog all of that delicious newborn baby smell.
5. Limit your visit. Aim for a 30 minute visit the first time around. Mom’s bound to be tired, baby may or may not need to eat/sleep/poop (or all of the above!), and there have probably been many other visitors coming around to see the new arrival. As a new mom struggling to breastfeed, I hated the awkward moment when I had to slip away into the nursery while guests remained just on the other side of the wall in my living room. Keeping your visit short and sweet, at least at first, is a great way to keep mom relaxed.
6. Don’t show up unannounced. Just don’t do it. It’s rude at any time, whether dropping in on a new mom, your best friend, or your parents. Plus, frankly, a new nursing mom is likely to be mostly, if not entirely, undressed from the waist up. You’ve been warned.

There you have it! Easy steps that will make you the best guest a new mom sees. I promise, you’ll still get baby snuggles and you’ll probably be invited back sooner than anyone else!

What would be your tips, looking back, on ways to be a good guest to a new mom?



Kate is a mainly stay-at-home mom in the Pacific NW who seriously wants to Hold ALL the Babies! 

The post 6 Easy Ways to be a Great Guest When Visiting a New Mom appeared first on Breastfeed.Babywear.ClothDiaper.Naturally!.

7 Ways To An Informed Birth

Giving birth is one of the biggest experiences of our lives. At what other point do our efforts result in bringing a new life into this world? Yet, women often go into birth with a lack of information. The result? Oftentimes it’s less than optimal. So what can you do try to improve that outcome? Be informed every step of the way. Here are 7 ways to have a more informed birth.

Read a lot.

Start with this list of my top 5 books on pregnancy and birth. But, go beyond the expected. Also, read books that cover the history of birth to get an overview of where we have been, where we are and where we might be headed. Check out “Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born by Tina Cassidy and Get Me Out: A History of Childbirth from the Garden of Eden to the Sperm Bank by Randi Hutter Espstein. Read statistics and perspectives on birth such as Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block. Read real stories here and in books like Labor Pains and Birth Stories: Essays on Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Becoming a Parent edited by Jessica Powers.

Watch and listen.

Take a look at the documentary “The Business of Being Born” and listen to podcasts such as Preggie Pals.

Interview practitioners.

Explore your options before choosing a doctor or midwife. Decide what type of practitioner you want and how involved you want to be in your birth. Schedule meet-and-greets and ask questions. Find out what their c-section rates are, how often they induce, whether they continuously monitor the fetal heart rate, what their policy is on moving around during birth and more. Choose your practitioner when you are happy with the answers you received. Decide if you would also like a doula.

Seek advice.

Every mom has a story and she loves to tell it. Ask moms you know what it was like, if it went well and what she would do differently. Read through the birth stories on this site, as well.

Take a class.

Explore different options such as HypnoBirthing, Lamaze, Bradley method, your local hospital’s classes or the online Birth Boot Camp classes.

Develop a plan.
Once you’ve done your research, you will better understand what an optimal birth looks like to you. Write it down in a birth plan, discuss it with your practitioner, take it with you to the hospital, and talk with the labor and delivery nurses upon check-in.

Go beyond the birth.

Remember that a whole new world opens up once your little one enters the world, so study up on what’s to come after the labor pains stop. Be informed about breastfeeding, diapering options, sleep solutions and more.


Birth can be full of twists, turns and uncertainties, but by becoming informed, you better your chances of having a more optimal birth experience.

The post 7 Ways To An Informed Birth appeared first on Unexpectant.com

The Birth of Piper Rose

This was written by Molly Martin, a friend/coworker of mine from a decade ago. We kept in touch over the years and ended up having children about a year apart from each other. She's a mother of two and has had a successful VBAC (that story yet to come). Molly recently posted this birth story on her blog (Http://www.roseandodin.blogspot.com) and has allowed us to share her story here as she continues to advocate for natural birth and natural parenting.

~ Brigitta, President of Friends of Goshen Birth Center
***************************************************************************

May 17, 2006 at 6:00 pm my water broke. I was now at the threshold of motherhood; the final trial was now set in motion and afterward I would be rewarded with a babe in my arms.

I was ready and smiling. I phoned the midwife. My instructions were: eat, rest and call back when my contractions have been two minutes apart for an hour OR in twelve hours. 

It was twelve hours later when I phoned again. The contractions had been somewhat frequent but had not progressed. 

I was admitted and asked a bunch of irrelevant questions and I was checked. The nurse looked puzzled and asked: "are you sure this baby is head down? You are only dilated to MAYBE a one."

My heart sank. Since the time I was 32 weeks pregnant I have been asking my midwives, at each visit, about the baby's position. I had a very large, hard part of the baby stuck under my right rib and this part of the baby stayed exactly in the same spot until the end. 

Three of the four midwives in the practice agreed that this hard lump was the butt. (The fourth midwife was at my delivery and we had not had an appointment with her after 30 weeks.) 

I just felt, all along, that this lump was indeed the head but it was my first pregnancy and these ladies are skilled in feeling babies in bellies. I did not argue and was reassured that the baby was head down and there was no reason for concern or to think the delivery would not go smoothly. 

The nurse brought in an ultra sound machine, scanned the lump at my rib and then politely excused herself to call in the OB. 

The OB came in and scanned my belly. There was the head, right under my rib. She took my hand, I began to cry, she said: "We are going to have to do a c-section at this point. Your water has broken and there is no way to flip your baby. You will be holding your baby within minutes."

I was shaking and crying.

My midwife arrived. She hugged me and said: "It will be ok. This is the safest option. You will be holding your baby very soon."

I phoned friends and my sister-in-law. My parents were with me as they had driven in from Oregon to be here.

I was then descended upon by an assortment of technicians and nurses. The anesthesiologist arrived detailing everything she would be doing. The OB had a form for me to sign. It listed all the possible risks associated with c-sections. Including death.  

I walked myself down the hallway with my medical team entourage. Nick was suited up. My brother called just then to say he loved me.

I entered the surgical room with the midwife and anesthesiologist. It was freezing cold. I took a deep breath. Then I was lying down under glaring lights with my arm strapped down and my lower half numb. I was unable to escape this fate. 

Nick had arrived at my side and Paul Simon was playing on the stereo. The dividing curtain was up, I was helpless and I began to cry. This was humiliating and degrading. It was 7:00 AM.

At 7:09 she was born. I just caught a glimpse of her over the curtain and she was gone across the room. Out of sight and out of reach. Several nurses wished me congratulations and a few said: "Don't worry, her head will look fine in a week or so." Wait, what was wrong with her head?

She was given the all clear and Nick was able to bring her over to me.  A hat was on her head. She looked perfect and was very alert. Still strapped down, I was unable to touch her. I was stitched on the inside and stapled back together on the outside. We moved to the recovery room but not before one final dose of something nauseating administered through the line in my spine by the anesthesiologist.

The recovery room was a swirling vision of haziness. There were a lot of people and beeping things in the room. They measured and weighed her then placed her on my belly. She wriggled her little body up and latched on. I was dizzy and happy but mostly dizzy. They wheeled us to our room. I fought sleep and nausea desperately trying to focus on the little warm body that was laying on my chest. I was starving. I kept thinking: "If only I could eat a sandwich I would feel better." I wanted normalcy. I wanted to be coherent. I wanted to relish every second of this newborn's first day. My newborn. I talked the nurses into letting me eat a popsicle.

I threw up on my baby.

They took her away for her first bath and dosed me up on anti-nausea medicine. I fell back asleep. Off and on throughout the day I would be given more anti-nausea medicine and then fall sleep. I would open my eyes to see either Nick, my mom, or my dad holding Piper. Keeping a vigil at my bedside. It was very comforting. I don't think I would have fared so well if she had been whisked away to the nursery.

It was not until sometime in the evening when I was able to eat again and the numbness gone. I was awake and I was determined to not miss anymore.

The next day one of the midwives stopped by. She said: "Sometimes a baby will just flip at the last minute."

This baby never flipped. Her head, from being under my rib for so long was rather flat on top and had the appearance of a bicycle helmet. She also had severe hip dysplasia in both hips which required her to wear a harness and be followed by an orthopedic surgeon for several months.

She had a heart murmur which was audible until she was three. She failed her first hearing test at the hospital.

During the midwife's visit to my room I made it very clear I would not take any medicine that would make me loopy or require someone else to be present when I held my baby. I was in full mama mode and it was this that allowed me to focus on my baby and heal. I was given 800mg Ibuprophen every six hours and sent home with a prescription for Vicodin just in case I needed something stronger. I ripped up that scrip when I got home.

The staples were removed, I was mobile, and I was a mama. We were released from the hospital with only a two night stay. We picked up Guinness and some mint chocolate chip ice cream on our way. I was so anxious to be home, to heal and get to know my new baby.

I was not bullied or pestered into a c-section. It was simply a matter of the risks out weighing the benefits. There was no one skilled at vaginal breech deliveries at the hospital. We were living in northern Colorado at the time of Piper's birth. We are now in Oregon and recently, Oregon Health Science University has implemented a program for vaginal breech deliveries.

My risks for future vaginal and c-section deliveries regardless of baby's presentation have increased. Even if my water had not broken and they were able to turn her, I would have most likely ended up with a c-section due to the fact that her head was so misshapen because is was under my rib for so long. I am not angry because I had a c-section. I am upset because I spent 8 weeks asking and inquiring about breech presentations and what-ifs. Only to have my mom-intuition shut down and told I shouldn't worry and that was a butt under my rib. If they had discovered she was breech I could have tried many different exercises or even moxibustion to flip her weeks before labor began and possibly avoiding a c-section. I was mentally and emotionally unprepared for what unfolded at my delivery. It is still a source of sadness for me.

***Note- the story of Odin, a successful VBAC, is yet to come!

Teach Your Children to Single Task, not Multitask

We question how children lose their childhood with parents trying to keep up with the Jones', the tendency of families to overschedule their children and government pushing No Child Left Inside so children spend more time testing than learning,

All these good intentions..... at what expense?  I remember reading The Hurried Child by David Elkind and realizing that although it was written in the 1990's, it was still relevant not just 10 years later but 20 years later... and the distractions he mentions are the same ones we face today, just slightly different format (every kid age 12+ has a cell phone, many with smart phones vs. a bag phone that only some could afford).

So this recent article got me to thinking....the value of children re-learning to single task and the role modeling of parents to ALSO re-learn the art, yes art, of single tasking. Not just for the direct benefit of the children but also for the benefit of the adults and the family.


By Dr. Jim Taylor
After reading my last post, I hope you’re convinced now that so-called multitasking isn’t what it purports to be and definitely doesn’t do your children any favors in school or anywhere else. So, the next thing to do is to show them (and perhaps yourself) that “single tasking” is a much better way to go. Single tasking is definitely not rocket science, but it may require that your children break some deeply ingrained habits around their use of technology and learn new habits that will enable them to be more productive and efficient. The good news is that, with some commitment and discipline, your children can retrain those habits and, in a relatively short time and with the benefits clear, become comfortable and adept single taskers.

Full article

The Babymoon

The following was written by a new mama. I think this is beautifully written and a wonderful reminder to all women and mothers. Our society/culture puts so much pressure on women jumping back into their routines and fitting into their clothes. Shouldn't we instead be cherishing these first few weeks?

The past two weeks have FLOWN by. And now that they have, I feel I must offer all my friends who are soon to be mothers a bit of unsolicited advice: Let's make the babymoon official! When you get married, you take a honeymoon, right? You plan to do only relaxing, fun activities for at least a week, sometimes two and no one begrudges you that time...they wouldn't DARE...so it's completely guilt-free. It's a traditional gesture of good-will offered by society to a new couple. And yet when we have a baby, each and every one of us feels differently about society's expectations of us and how soon we should be getting back to real life. It's undefined, or rather self-defined. When Corban was born, so many people told me "enjoy that baby...they grow up so fast!" But for some reason I still felt guilty sitting around holding him, which jaded what little sitting around I did manage to do. And I believed people when they said I could hold my baby too much. When Jadon was born, I stubbornly held him all I wanted and enjoyed our baby time so much more but my mind was half distracted with returning to work too quickly. This time around I decided there would be no guilt and there would be certainly be no work. Only "play" for 2 solid weeks. The first week was the BEST...just James and the boys pampering us girls. Lots of family snuggles. Seventh heaven! Naps. Movies. Favorite foods. Meals from friends. Photo ops. At the end of week 1 James had to go back to work so week 2 of babymoon was courtesy of my fantastic in-laws. They occupied the boys with fun activities, made meals and did housework while I relaxed. Jeuel and I went out for lunch with some friends. We listened to Christmas music. We napped some more. The first two weeks have been such a healthy time of easing in to life with three kids. As I begin week 3, I don't feel overwhelmed, I feel refreshed. I feel happy and blessed.
By Christi Nelson

Attachment Parenting

Note from the blog poster- sometimes we need a reminder to refocus, a chance to regroup, a refresher of the principles, or a simple reaffirmation that while we're not perfect, we're mostly on track.

Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears,^[1] is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Adherents believe that sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well-being. They also believe that in extreme and rare conditions, the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of a child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.

Per Dr. Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as the API attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting eight principles which are identified as goals for parents to strive for. These eight principles are:^{[citation needed]}

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

1. Feed with Love and Respect

1. Respond with Sensitivity

1. Use Nurturing Touch

1. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally

1. Provide Consistent Loving Care

1. Practice Positive Discipline

1. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

(wikipedia)

Attachment Parenting isn't new. In many ways, it is a return to the instinctual behaviors of our ancestors. In the last sixty years, the behaviors of attachment have been studied extensively by psychology and child development researchers, and more recently, by researchers studying the brain. This body of knowledge offers strong support for areas that are key to the optimal development of children, summarized below in API's Eight Principles of Parenting.  (AttachmentParentingInternational)


Personally, I’m a little uneasy with the term “attachment parenting.” It feels presumptuous; after all, what well-intentioned parent isn’t attached to her kids? Still, I must admit subscribing to some degree to many of the tenets of AP. In an interview, Bialik, 36, noted that AP is actually a continuum. “It’s not all or nothing,” she says. “Some people sleep with their kids, some people breast-feed their kids until they’re 5 and some people don’t. The core principle is that a child’s voice matters.” Read more


AP Subject of Public Television Documentary, API Blog Editor Featured, Shares Experience