My Two Births....

by Ellie Tricker

My two births happened three years and two months apart. My first child was a slow-moving son, and my second child was a daughter who seemed to be in an enormous hurry. The details of my birth experiences differ wildly.

         Thaddeus was born slowly, quietly, and privately. Ben and I labored all night long, moaning and dancing our way through the bedroom, great room, and bathroom. My memory is of being mothered through the process by Rachel, who comforted and consoled me at regular intervals. I remember the feeling of her hands on my neck as I dozed exhaustedly in the rocking chair in the pre-dawn hours. I remember her spoon feeding me honey. She put her hands on my hips, teaching me how to sway from side to side, as gracefully as a walrus (or so I felt) as I hung my arms heavily around Ben's neck. Hours after we arrived to bring forth our first child, another mother arrived. When the sounds of her baby carried through the wall long before I had even dilated completely, I began to despair, but Rachel consoled me with such love and tenderness that I was able to relax and refocus. I am the sort of woman who tends to be in charge of everything and be totally equipped. Therefore, it was alarming to be at the mercy of my body. I felt like I was failing somehow, and Rachel imparted the necessary grace that I needed to accept the birth journey I was on. She gave me exactly what I needed.

        Penelope, in contrast, has had an urgency about her since the moment she felt ready to emerge from the womb! Although I was in early labor for an entire week with her, once she got serious, nothing could stop her. We settled in for another long labor, but only three hours after arriving at the Birth Center, Penelope was in my arms. And while Ben and I had relished our quiet privacy the first time, this felt more like a birth(day) party. Two of my friends met us there to help care for Tad (who came with us) and to help document the event. We had a fruit tray and told funny stories. Ironically, even with the noise and celebratory atmosphere, I was able to focus more  this second time around. I finally understood what it meant to ride the wave of each contraction and to go deeper into my body. I accomplished my goal of not actually pushing my daughter out at all, instead letting the contractions do the work. Even so, the amount of time between crowning and having Penny on my chest was only three minutes. Before I got into the tub for the final bit of labor, I stood over the toilet and suddenly felt chilled to the bone. I had been really present for the whole labor, but suddenly I felt a wave of panic. I began to shiver uncontrollably and Nancy (who had arrived an hour before) put her hands on my shoulders and told me I was probably in transition. I hadn't really felt transition with Tad's birth because the whole labor was so intense and painful that there was no discernible difference. This was wild and somewhat terrifying! But when I felt Nancy's hands on my shoulders, I felt a cooling sensation pass down through my whole body. My eyes locked on hers and I remembered that I could do this! Somehow I found myself back in the tub and, though I wanted to birth on my hands and knees as I did before, I was instructed to lie down on my back to slow baby down. This was so contrary to my ideas, but it turned out to be quite helpful! Penny practically flew out, and just like in those magical stories, once she was on my belly she slithered up to my breast of her own accord and latched immediately. I think I tried to force Tad to nurse for several minutes before I relaxed and gave up pressuring him. He finally nursed in the bed an hour or so after he was born.

        My births were so similar in some ways. I was in the same room, both provided peaceful, joyful memories. Patty was the midwife who met us at the Birth Center both times, leaving us with the midwife on the next shift. Both times I received the special type of coaching I needed, though the particulars of how each birth played out were so different. The model of trusting women and their bodies works so beautifully, because with varying circumstances, the outcome ends up being the same. My joy was complete for both of my births, and I felt supported, loved, and trusted.

        I feel so immensely grateful for the Birth Center, and particularly for Rachel, who gave me the birth I dreamed of. I transferred to Fairhaven quite late in my first pregnancy solely because Rachel was willing to spend quite a long time with me both on the phone and in person to determine whether we could work together for only a few short weeks. Because of my births, I began to trust my power, my stamina, and indeed my true femininity in a way I could never have anticipated. My births have taught me more about my deepest strength more than any other experience I've ever had, and have opened me in a special way to conscious, peaceful parenting. I really believe that peace on earth can begin with birth. My safe, conscious, peaceful births helped me realize that my children were active participants in their earth-side emergence. Beginning my parenting journey in this way has helped launch me on a trajectory of respect, awareness, and reverence for the full human beings my children are. Indeed, my births have helped me respect myself more fully and to appreciate the ways my husband and partner contributes to our lives as well. Giving birth at Goshen Birth Center under the supervision and care of knowledgeable, compassionate midwives has changed my life for the better in a real and meaningful way.

You Are Not a Lemon

Today I offer a simple quote of encouragement for all you pregnant women out there and even for those who aren’t. It comes from the very wise and prominent midwife, Ina May Gaskin:

 

“Your body is not a lemon.” In a society where we often hear that our bodies are broken or ugly or need improvement, remember these words. In a country that has over a 30% c-section rate (the World Health Organization recommends the rate be under 15%), this can be a fact that women don’t hear often enough, if at all. But I believe Psalm 139:14 when it says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” And, I want you to believe it as well.

The truth is our bodies are pretty awesome. I mean they can grow little humans. And, sometimes they grow more than one little human at a time. And your uterus that protects those little humans starts out the size of a pear, but it expands about 500 times from its original size over the 40-ish weeks of gestation. Then within a month after birth, it returns to its pre-pregnancy size. Our bodies can nourish those little humans, while they are still inside and even afterwards through breast milk. In fact, our bodies are so awesome that the breast milk we create changes over time to meet the nutritional needs as our babies grow and change. We don’t have to take any special pills or drink any magic potions to make this possible; it just intrinsically and instinctively happens.

Now, I understand that there is a time and a place for certain birth interventions. I know that c-sections can and do save lives. And, I’m not saying that natural birth is the only way to go. But, I do know that many women fear birth. They fear what will happen to their bodies. They question whether or not they are capable of doing it. Take for instance what Nicole Klemp said in her birth story, “Before I was even pregnant, the thought of giving birth was terrifying. I was certain there was no way something the size of a watermelon was going to come out of me without ending in my untimely death.”

She is certainly not the only woman to feel this way and, sadly, oftentimes our society and even doctors don’t tell women otherwise.Instead, they perpetuate the dialog that discourages women from realizing just how awesome their bodies actually are. But, what Nicole discovered was that she was capable and that birth wasn’t as frightening as she had anticipated. In fact, she titled her story “That Wasn’t So Bad.”

So, if you are pregnant, ignore those negative voices, whether they are internal or external. Instead, do your research. Get the facts. Learn about birth. Find a midwife or physician who practices evidence-based care, not convenient care. As my midwife has often said:

“My job is to make sure [your birth is] safe and your job is to make sure it’s what you want.” ~ Kristin Vincent, midwife

And, even beyond birth, remember that your body is not a lemon. You are not a lemon. You are more capable than you realize. Pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and motherhood can be downright tough and exhausting both physically and mentally. But hear these words: YOU CAN DO IT. You were wonderfully made and designed to do it. You are not broken. The truth is you’ve been given a pretty awesome body that has been designed to do some really incredible things. Believe in it. Believe in yourself. And, know that you are not a lemon.

If you are pregnant and want to learn more about pregnancy and birth, take a look at my top five book recommendations. And, especially pick up a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. It’s packed full of important and helpful info for every pregnant woman.

The post Birth Encouragement You Are Not a Lemon appeared first on Unexpectant.com 

Peace on Earth Begins with Birth

It is December and is therefore the time of year when the whole world begins talking about Peace on Earth. Countless songs have been playing over the radio for the past month extolling the virtues of good will, kindness, understanding and love. I wonder, what would World Peace really require? What would True Peace entail? All year long—not just during the holiday season—the Midwives at Goshen Birth Center wear t-shirts that read, “Peace on Earth Begins with Birth.” It is a catchy phrase, and a nice slogan to throw around. But could it really be true? Could our ideas about birth inform the whole way we approach life? There are, in fact, people who dare to believe that the way we view the issue of birth has enormous consequences on our treatment of all human rights issues. There is a group of women who call ourselves the Friends of Goshen Birth Center, who believe that our positive birth experiences have changed us for the better. We are women who want to help carry out the mission of Goshen Birth Center because giving birth in an atmosphere that is encouraging, relaxed and joyful has made us more peaceful individuals and helped us to live out more peaceful lives in our families. We believe every person has a right to begin life in a supportive and loving environment. We believe that women should not have to fear labor and birth, but should be comforted by the experiences of others. We believe in the power of community, courage, knowledge, confidence and joy. We are the Friends of Goshen Birth Center, and we want to share our stories with as many people as possible. Not only do we want to promote Goshen Birth Center and the incredible group of Midwives and nurses who have stood by us as we brought life into the world, but we also want to promote the reality of peaceful, joyful, natural birth and encourage people that a peaceful world needs peaceful hearts, peaceful from the very beginning.

By Eleigh Tricker