Teach Your Children to Single Task, not Multitask

We question how children lose their childhood with parents trying to keep up with the Jones', the tendency of families to overschedule their children and government pushing No Child Left Inside so children spend more time testing than learning,

All these good intentions..... at what expense?  I remember reading The Hurried Child by David Elkind and realizing that although it was written in the 1990's, it was still relevant not just 10 years later but 20 years later... and the distractions he mentions are the same ones we face today, just slightly different format (every kid age 12+ has a cell phone, many with smart phones vs. a bag phone that only some could afford).

So this recent article got me to thinking....the value of children re-learning to single task and the role modeling of parents to ALSO re-learn the art, yes art, of single tasking. Not just for the direct benefit of the children but also for the benefit of the adults and the family.


By Dr. Jim Taylor
After reading my last post, I hope you’re convinced now that so-called multitasking isn’t what it purports to be and definitely doesn’t do your children any favors in school or anywhere else. So, the next thing to do is to show them (and perhaps yourself) that “single tasking” is a much better way to go. Single tasking is definitely not rocket science, but it may require that your children break some deeply ingrained habits around their use of technology and learn new habits that will enable them to be more productive and efficient. The good news is that, with some commitment and discipline, your children can retrain those habits and, in a relatively short time and with the benefits clear, become comfortable and adept single taskers.

Full article

Modern birthing, not so modern- from an OB nurse

You might be surprised to find out I am not sold into the modern birthing philosophy, as I have been an OB nurse in a traditional hospital setting since 1978. In nursing school, my OB instructors were so enthusiastic about childbirth and breastfeeding; that combined with a sister who was involved in LaLeche League really got me excited about having a baby.  In fact in an English class in college we were instructed to write a paper on something we would like to be.  Some wrote they would like to be streams of water, other certain animals; I wrote a paper that said “I want to be a mother”.  I elatedly received the news I was pregnant with my first son in Dec. 1977 and started working in OB in Jan. of 1978.  I immediately delved into childbirth books, the most influential on me being “Immaculate Deception” by Suzanne Arms.  I naively gave a copy of it to my OB to read; needless to say, she was not impressed!  My husband and I took a childbirth preparation class outside of the hospital, given by an independent instructor; I interviewed our pediatrician to see where we stood on important issues, and I strongly considered delivering with a midwife at an attached birthing center in South Bend.  (I think it was an insurance issue that prevented me to deliver there.)  I was ready for a completely natural childbirth and had told my husband to stand behind me 100%.  After a long unmedicated labor, I was taken to the delivery room and the doctor said “Well Kathy, what do you want to do?”~~meaning did I want the spinal block that he gave to nearly 100% of women.  I remember wearily looking at my husband and asking “do I want it?”~~NO! he shouted.  (My hero!)   I had four children pretty much as I wanted to give birth; not one IV, minimal monitoring, up out of bed as I desired,  no medications for pain. 

I have had to adjust my attitude as the years have gone by to accept the way most women want to give birth and most doctors want to manage their labors, at least in our community. But I still know in my heart that there is another way to have babies, and that is why I was so thrilled to be part of Brooks’ birth at the birthing center, with the wonderful midwives.

 Kathy

~ this is written by the grandma of 2 (about to be 3) Goshen Birth Center birthed babies! 

Three Huge Mistakes We Make Leading Kids…and How to Correct Them

(From Growing Leaders)

Recently, I read about a father, Paul Wallich, who built a camera-mounted drone helicopter to follow his grade-school-aged son to the bus stop. He wants to make sure his son arrives at the bus stop safe and sound. There’s no doubt the gizmo provides an awesome show-and-tell contribution. In my mind, Paul Wallich gives new meaning to the term “helicopter parent.”

While I applaud the engagement of this generation of parents and teachers, it’s important to recognize the unintended consequences of our engagement. We want the best for our students, but research now shows that our “over-protection, over-connection” style has damaged them. Let me suggest three huge mistakes we’ve made leading this generation of kids and how we must correct them.

Full article

Eight Steps Toward Healthy Leadership

Obviously, negative risk taking should be discouraged, such as smoking, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc. In addition, there will be times our young people do need our help, or affirmation. But—healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings. They’ll need to try things on their own. And we, the adults, must let them. Here are some simple ideas you can employ as you navigate these waters:

1. Help them take calculated risks. Talk it over with them, but let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works.
2. Discuss how they must learn to make choices. They must prepare to both win and lose, not get all they want and to face the consequences of their decisions.
3. Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.
4. Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.
5. Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities.
6. Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Your job is not to make yourself feel good by giving kids what makes them or you feel better when you give it.
7. Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.
8. Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

Babies Are Needy—Does That Bug You?

Published on April 15, 2012 by Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D. in Moral Landscapes

Caveat: You may not want to read this if you are mother feeling vulnerable. Although there is scientific and evolutionary evidence for the information, the content is not medical advice--see your medical professional for that.
Human baby helplessness increased over the course of human evolution as humans shifted to bipedal walking. So much so that humans are born 18 months early compared to other primates. It’s really important to get straight on what babies need before having one.
For some reason, U.S. society seems to have forgotten what babies need to grow good bodies, brains and minds. We need to get our minds around the needs of babies. Here is a short list of those needs.

full article

Two Sustainable Businesses in South Bend Connect!

Ecological Babies, a cloth diaper, sling, and natural parenting business and resource in South Bend is now offering some of their top cloth diapers and accessories for sale in the storefront Just Goods in downtown South Bend. Besides the items in the store, anyone can visit Ecological Babies’ site, place an order for any items, and then pick them up at their convenience at Just Goods.

For Downtown South Bend's "First Fridays", Ecological Babies will be featured there in March.  The prior Wednesday evening, we're going to have a reception to kick off our official partnership, Just Goods & Ecological Babies.  It will be 2/27 from 5-7pm and all are more than welcome to come in the store! 

Shared from Michiana Birth

Birth Center study says.....

A new study has been released on birth centers!!! Here is Birth Without Fear's summary of the study. For more you can visit American Association Of Birth Centers. Links to the study and more are in the article!

"...of the 15,574 births included in the study, less than 1 in 16 births (6%) resulted in a cesarean birth. Based on current Medicare/Medicaid rates, all 15,574 births in the study may have contributed as much as $30 million in savings for facility costs alone."

Coats and Car Seats don't go together

Keeping kids WARM & SAFE in their car seats is not as simple as you might think. Winter coats & snowsuits are UNsafe as they create extra bulk that leaves the straps too loose in a crash - causing the child to come to a jolting stop (or in some cases to be ejected from their car seat). 
Do the "magic coat trick" - dress your child in 3 thin, tight layers (for about 50 degree weather), buckle the child & get the straps snug, have the child hold out their arms and put the coat on BACKWARDS (over the straps). Now the child is safer AND more comfortable (when the car warms up, the child can pull the coat off to prevent overheating). !

Keeping babies WARM & SAFE in their car seats is not as simple as you might think. Sleeping bags, like the Bundle Me, "forget" to mention that they violate the instructions & void the warranty to every car seat. Snowsuits & coats are unsafe for the same reason - all create extra bulk in the harness that leaves the straps too loose in a crash - causing the child to come to a jolting stop (or in some cases to be ejected from their car seat). 
Learn how to SAFELY SWADDLE your baby in the car seat - to keep baby warm and happy

Also see here for more coat tricks